Shoot me now!

Holy crap, I am MORTIFIED!!! Apparently, my last post "*A*M*E*C Christmas Party 2008" (which I have changed to Christmas Party 2008) got Dave a lot of razzing at work because stupid me didn't realize that someone does a google blog check every day for the company. Guess whose blog shows up #2 on the list? This is a HUGE company, guys! HUGE! International!!! In fact, headquarters in London found it and was concerned that the Phoenix office was blowing a bunch of money on lavish parties. If that weren't embarrassing enough, there had to be some commenting on how my idea of a "posh" party really was not very posh at all. You can take that two ways: 1) I'm an exaggerater OR 2) I'm really small town. Okay, guys, for a couple from IDAHO,any party where they don't serve jello salad and wienies in a blanket is a pretty fancy party! Especially for my man whose idea of dressing up is putting on a polo shirt with his basketball shorts. I want to dig myself a hole and put my head in it!!! haha! Hopefully they look past the bad blog post and get captivated by the cute kids. Forgive me, Dave!!!

Christmas Party 2008

So, we actually went to a high-end art gallery this year for Dave's company Christmas party. It was an open bar and three different food stations throughout. I was amazed at the money this company puts out!!! We had a good time and I wish we got better pics, but here are the ones of us at Heather's house just before we left. Wow, Dave has dressed up twice this year! It's a new record! Yay me!!!

Ms. Evey, Me, Kendall, and Jessica

This year we celebrated Thanksgiving with some very good friends, Jessica and Gavin. Gavin cooked the entire meal and it was DELICIOUS! I have to say this was the best Thanksgiving we've had in a long time. If we couldn't be with family then the Fieldings were the next best thing. Thank you, Gavin and Jessica! And thank you Kendall for letting my little monsters play with all of your toys! This year I'm thankful for good friends, a happy family, and for good health. It's been a long time.

Nobody tagged me, but I saw this on someone else's blog and thought it would be a fun little post that I don't have to be too creative with. Not a lot of time this week, but this looks fun. Here you go:

10 years ago I was:
I was a freshman in college and begging my family to let me move away to Salt Lake City with my big sis, Heidi. I wanted to get away from an old boyfriend sooooo bad!!! I think I was working at Great American Video, which I was fired from a few weeks later for deciding to go on a trip to Tokyo, Japan over the Christmas holiday rather than staying and working for them. Who knew that honesty wasn't the best policy in the moving renting business? I should've just told them I wasn't going anymore and then quit the week before, I guess. Uh, I was still actively mormon... although also actively avoiding going. Ten years ago, I was very confused, very frustrated, and starting a part of my life that would change who I am and who I thought I was FOREVER.

5 things on my to do list today:
Spray paint my wood letters and frames
Decoupage
Drink Coffee
Start sewing projects
Drink more Coffee

5 snacks I enjoy:
Chips and Salsa
Triscuits (Rosemary and Olive Oil or Cracked Pepper)
Soybeans
Carrots
Soft Pretzels

5 things I would do if I was a millionaire:
Pay off ALL my debt and loan all of my family and close friends money to pay off their debt without interest rates.
BUY A HOUSE!!!
Go on a trip to Europe, Africa, and especially BRAZIL!
Set up savings accounts for myself, my kids, my neices and nephews.
Set up a family reunion fund for all of my brothers, sisters and their kids so that money is no longer an issue for getting together once a year.
AND, since I'm a millionaire I get ONE more...
I would invest a set amount of money into something that I know will acrue over time and then donate the profit to a different chairity WITHIN this country every year. The U.S. needs to help our own lost children, too, you know?

5 places I've lived:
Pocatello, Idaho
Salt Lake City, Utah
Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
Phoenix, Arizona
more to come, I'm sure

5 jobs I've had:
After School Program teacher for School District 25 and for ISU's Early Learning Center in Pocatello, ID
Great American Vido clerk (first job) in Pocatello, ID
File Clerk for L.D. Fitzgerald, a Bankrupcy lawyer in Poctello, ID
Front Desk clerk and Summer Camp counselor at Snowbird Canyon Racquet Club in SLC, UT
Pottery Barn sales associate in Scottsdale, Arizona


I tag: whoever feels like it.

Message from a SAHM

So, I've decided that I am never going to find the time to post seperate entries on all of the pictures we've taken over the last while, and so instead of some clever, witty diddy, you get these. Mosaics. Collages. Snoring, I know! But what else am I gonna do with them except stash them in a photo album and let them collect dust. Besides, after talking with my awesome friend D. extensively about this blogosphere world we live in, I think that what it all boils down to is that my kids are cuter than yours. That's why we blog... to prove just that... only mine are cute, but kinda rotten, in a cute, sweet, I want to rip my eyeballs out kinda way. Eat that you June Cleavers out there (none of you read this blog so that's why I feel comfortable shouting this my fellow blog readers). This message brought to you by the new, improved, and sometimes too brutally honest SAHM (stay at home mom -- for those of you who are retarded). Check it.

Here's a little taste of what I've been working on for this craft fair coming up in December. I know the pictures are bad, but I've yet to make my photo light box so that I can take stellar pics of my product. Pictured above are the tutus, tiaras, paper-crafted christmas trees and topiaries, and christmas blocks that I make. Someday I'll post other stuff I've been crafting, but I thought I'd narrow it down to Christmas and tutus for this post. I sell my tutus and tiaras and ship them, so if you know of anyone looking for adorable girly gifts then send them my way!

A Midsummer's Night Dream

So... I've got a little confession to make... I like ballets. I never thought I'd be saying those three words, or at least not in the same sentence. I took Phoenix to her first (and mine) ballet last Christmas at Phoenix Symphony Hall for The Nutcracker. I was amazed at the set and the costumes and just about everything you could be impressed about. My only complaint... it was LONG! But, not so long that I wouldn't come back. So, I had my chance to take Phoenix to another ballet this year. A Midsummer's Night Dream. I couldn't resist after seeing the adversing online. This is by far the most amazing performance I have ever seen (not that I've seen a whole lot). The costumes were incredible! The colors and the details were... I don't even think there is a word that describes how beautiful they were. I felt like I was in this magical world, for realsies! AMAZING! And Phoenix was completely enthralled! She knew that there was a story behind the dancing and would ask, "what are they doing?" or "read what is happening, mommy"... obviously I am not a ballet buff because I didn't even know that I could read what is happening. She went to the ballet with her Auntie Heather late last spring, so she obviously must have learned that little tidbit from her. But does that really surprise you? I mean, I just confessed that I have been a closeted ballet lover for over a year. I've got a lot to learn, but it's going to be fun doing so with my little girl.

Having said that, Phoenix has started ballet classes. She made quite the impression for her first day. Silly mommy didn't realize that ballet is such a serious thing at 3 years old and didn't dress her in pink tights and leotard. Nope, I decided it would be a good idea for her to wear black yoga pants and a blue puma tank. Yeah... she stuck out like a sore thumb. 14 other little girls show up and all 14 are wearing... you guessed it, pink tights and leotards with pink ballet slippers and tight, tight hair in buns. And then there was Phoenix. As if that weren't enough to scar a poor girl for life (thank goodness she is only 3 and doesn't understand that "different" blows... *sigh*, GIRLS!!!) she was also the only white girl. I'm talking major ivory and a foot taller than everyone else. She looked like John McCain at a gay marriage ceremony... out of place! But the class was amazing!!! Her teacher is my new hero and mentor as far as teaching is concerned. She had a roomful of 3 and 4 year olds following her every move and there was no screaming, yelling, crying, or straying during the class. I have never seen such control in a situation such as this. We love Ms. CeCe!

This week I've learned...

This week, after a few swears and a whole lot of middle fingers, I have learned...

1. I am not the soccer player I used to be... not even the same one I was last week. I seem to be getting progressively worse and even funnier to watch. I didn't realize that this would be my first shot at improv. "Thanks, guys, I'll be performing every Monday night plus a great matninee on your Sunday mornings! I bet you can't guess what animal I run like!" Now that's funny shizz.

2. Poopy diapers suck the big SUCK-a-DUCKA from DookieVille. I swear that Gracie's stanky-butt drops little nuggets in her diaper like it's a treasure box. No joke, every morning from the time she wakes up until after 4 o'clock, I discover a little gold with every wipe. It's true, folks! No KIDDERS! My behind the back diaper throw into the backyard is getting pretty good these days since those little treasures aren't going anywhere near the inside diaper pail. We just gotta nip that stank in the bud. Can we say dry heave? Honestly, she's been known to make me throw up a little in my mouth.

3. Lastly, I've learned this week that I should never, ever type a blog while under the influence of Ambien. Hopefully no one read the unedited version of this post before I got to it. For realsies, guys, I didn't even realize that I had posted a blog last night until I logged in this evening. It was really bad and mostly incoherent. Can we say embarrassing? At least I wasn't writing about rice bags falling from the sky or faces coming at me from the walls. I've been known to do and say strange things while on Ambien.


That's it for this installment of "What I've learned this week"! (the original post had a few more lessons, but after reviewing I cannot even explain where I was going with it).

...And then she was gone

Neesie and Phoenix (Halloween 2005)

We knew the day was fastly approaching, but Bernice's passing still left us shell-shocked. We have been struggling with making the decision as to whether or not we should put her down for quite some time, but last night she made the decision for us. I found her lying down in the kitchen as if she were peacefully sleeping... only she wasn't. I knew that she was gone. I cannot even begin to explain how much this dog meant to Dave and me. We adopted her at the ripe old age of eight. She was an old lady in bulldog years, but she needed us and we really needed her. She was my baby before I was able to have babies. She filled the void for me until I was able to get healthy again and now I feel like another void is present. I will miss my therapy dog. She had a good day, though, so at least we can rest easy knowing that she wasn't hurting when she went.

Who would have thought that such a grumpy little bully dog could bring so much happiness to our lives. We will miss the happy football feet when we walk in the door, the snotty sneezes in our face, the sweet sounds of our little snore-bert, and yes even the flatulants and skid marks on the wall. Ah, good times. You will be missed my sweet Neesie, Bernie, Bur-meece (as Phoenix calls her), Bern-Dawg, our squishy face! Thank you for the memories and God bless you baby girl!

Today was a historic day for our friend, Gavin, not to mention this little family of ours. Gavin became a naturalized citizen of this great United States and we...... dressed up! That' right, don't be alarmed! Your eyes are not deceiving you and you certainly are not on crack (that we know of). Dave is in a suit... no punch line. He's in a suit. And we are all dressed up at the SAME time!!! I honestly think that I can count the number of times we have gotten dressed up together (sadly, our wedding counts). Dave was probably wearing that exact suit for a majority of 'em! So, you can see how this situation SCREAMED photo-op.


It was a great day and I am extremely humbled by the entire experience. I guess that I am just now realizing how for granted I take my being an American citizen. I am so detached from its implications. After sitting down with our friend, Gavin, while he reflected on his six-year journey to citizenship, I realized that I am the worst kind of American, yet probably the most common... the one who lives "it" without understanding what it means. I believe my eyes were opened by this special day. I don't think I'll be doing any marches on Washington or humiliating my political leaders on international tv, but it's nice to know that I can if I want to... without getting axed! [insert drumroll]

By the way, is it totally inappropriate that we gave him a Jeff Foxworthy calendar? We totally wanted to do something profound and patriotic... a copy of the constitution, a Susan B. Anthony coin, you know, something like that. But, somehow we came out with "You Might Be a Redneck If...". Any opinions on this matter? Please tell me we aren't Ugly Americans for that gift!!!

Home

Sunset in Pocatello, Idaho July 2008


I never thought that a picture like this would bring me so much joy and longing for a life that I've spent a majority of my years despising. I look at this picture and see a haven. I no longer look at it as small town or ignorant or quicksand. I no longer feel that suffocation in the back of my throat and down into my chest. Instead, I feel at peace. I desire that sunset outside my back door. I long for red dusks and family barbeques. I wish for my girls to be able to run through the fields and spend hours in their own make-believe adventures. I'd love to be able to take up horseback riding and to teach my girls how to be resourceful and mindful of our beautiful land and countryside. These are things that I could teach them here in Phoenix, but the quiet life of small town Idaho sounds so much more appealing to me these days. I see beauty there that I once found impossible to find. Perhaps the age-old saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is to credit for this change of heart. Maybe so, but I also like to think that it comes from a few years of working hard on myself and making peace with my past. I want to go home and share all of the good things I've come to appreciate about Home with my new little family and hopeully use what I've learned away from Home to help make this newfound haven one that my own children will love forever.

Hi, My Name's Chubby!

Is there anything more Awwwwww-provoking, and heart melting, than a picture of a chubby little round-top, squishy-cheeked, chunky-monkey, sweet as honey, mego-leggo, sweetpea-tot? I tell you, I just want to EAT those FAT CHEEKS! She smiles and my whole world lights up! Her beautiful little spirit amazes me.

It brings me back to those good ole' games we used to play as kids with our lips and our faces -- NO, not kissing games! I'm talking about the "chubby" games. Again, NOT what you are thinking! Get your minds on the prize here. The chubby game was when we used to squish our cheeks together [FACE CHEEKS, ShEEEZ!)and say "Hi, my names is Chubby. My momma's chubby, my daddy's chubby, EVEN my dog's chubby..." Man, me and my best girl Bekster used to do that one all the time and it never did get old! We even adapted it once to put crackers in our mouth so that every time we said chubby... blahhh, all over! Then we had the bright idea to write "Chubby" across our face using White-Out! No, we didn't smoke crack, guys! We didn't even know what crack was except for butt-crack... which I have a WHOLE lot of funnies in that there department. But ANYWHO, the facey no-likey-the white-out. After dousing our faces with fingernail polish remover and rubbing alcohol and Ivory soap, we finally had to break down and call my mom and her nurse friend to come save us from ourselves. Red is putting it bleakly as to what our faces looked like after we got Chubby off of them. hahaha! Me loves me...and she!

Gracie has already caught on to the oozing crap outta her chubby cheeks routine and clearly a lot earlier than Bek and I ever did. I'm pretty sure we weren't half as cute doing it, either, but dang that little Butterball can ooze some pretty funky unmentionables out of those good enough to eat cheeks! I love it! It's ingenious. Back off boys, I look cute from the outside, but look at what comes from the inside... blah! spit, spit! Kabloom! ooze, ooze! You've been served! Peace-out, fellas!

Phoenix Conquers the Potty... and Soccer!!!

Nope, hell hasn't frozen over, yet, but Phoenix may have finally accomplished the unthinkable! She has learned to use her potty! Thank you, thank you, but please hold your applause. It was nothing... ha, right! I think we finally just found a good enough appeal for her to actually try to do it. After we promised her a season of soccer if she could make it a month without an awful lot of accidents, her potty training just kinda took off! We convinced her that only big girls can play soccer and "big girls go peepee in the potty, not in their pants!" That's a pretty big catch-phrase in our house. So, now she's got her "fast shoes" and a soccer team to play on all of her own. Here are a few pictures we took at practice this morning to capture the moment!

The organization she plays with is called Soccer Tots. They are very similar to the program I coached for, Lil Kickers, but this one doesn't seem to incorporate the ball quite as much. The kids had a blast, but I think I would have preferred the games to include ball skills and coordination at the same time. Instead, they played with balloons and hula hoops and jumped over noodles, etc. I liked how the curriculum in Lil Kickers used the children's imagination in order to entertain them while using their soccer balls as a tool to discover. But, Phoenix enjoyed her time today at Soccer Tots and that's all that matters.

Footage of Me Grams

The puppet challenged Grandma to a staring contest. She was so cute about it! She definitely hasn't lost her sense of humor. I couldn't believe how quick her wit was (once she was able to HEAR and process what we were teasing her about). What a charmer!


It's hard to hear, but what Grandma says there at the end is, "that's not fair, you don't blink!" So, so funny!

Larsen Family Survivor Challenge 2008

It may not have been Olympic worthy, but we definitely looked... well, we looked... i mean, from the outside it seemed... you, know, the talent was... uh... ummmm... you see... okay, we were HIDEOUS, but funny as hell! Between Keith's post-spear hucking shoulder grab (ooof, my shoulder!) and the Guarani Tribe's inability to win the scavenger Treasure hunt even after cheating, we looked like a buncha football players trying to play a rugby match... way out of our league! It was such a kick in the pants, though! I had funner being the Host than I think I ever could have had being a contestant.

We started out by seperating everyone into tribes. Everyone blindly picked a "buff" out of a bucket and was then revealed as to which tribe their color represented. We had two Brazil-inspired tribes: Tupi and Guarani. From there each tribe spent about an hour or so eating and decorating their team flags. Then, the games began!

We had a spear throwing contest in which the Guarani Tribe undoubtedly dominated.

Then, we moved onto a Scavenger Hunt. The object was to retrieve the 10 items on their list that were hidden throughout the property and bring back the puzzle pieces that were attached. From there, they were to put the puzzles together in order reveal the 3 numbers written upon them (in no particular order) that in in turn unlocked their treasure chest. Yeah, I had a few people swearing at me after that one, especially when we couldn't find the last hidden puzzle pieces. Note to self -- WRITE DOWN WHERE YOU HIDE EVERYTHING! Ohsie-Wellsies! We can have a good laugh this winter when we find the last skull with the Tupi Tribe ribbon attached sitting in the snow out in the pasture... or was it the tree... then again, it could have been in the barn... hmmmmmm... I guess we'll have to wait to see!

After the unintentional LONGASS scavenger hunt, we went on to the Sling Shot Challenge. No real surprise here, Dave cleaned the floor with us on that one to give the Tupi Tribe 2 wins over Guarani's 1.

We ended the night with one more team competition called the Water Bucket Challenge. Both teams had a bucket with a fill line. The object was for the team to get water from the kiddy pool into the water bucket as fast as they could using ONLY their buff (head-scarf, really). The first to hit the fill line wins. It was MAYHEM! So funny to watch! My poor dad almost got layed out with the rush of people going back and forth between the buckets and pool. People were practically wrestling each other down, shoving faces in the water, shaking their... wait a minute, that's a Frat party, not Survivor Challenge! My, bad! Haha! Let's keep it G-rated here. It was a family party, folks! It was funny, though, and everyone really did get into it.

And the winner of Survivor Challenge 2008? A tie! Everybody wins in Larsen Family Survivor!

All in all we had a great time and I would love to do it again. Everyone was sent home with a group picture and homemade (I've gotten pretty crafty in my old-young-ish days) dogtags. Next year maybe it will be Japanese Gameshow! Haha, could you imagine?

Full Circle

Seelos Family Reunion in Idaho, August 1987-ish

I was an awkward kid. I was taller than most and it seemed even my clothes couldn't keep up. My pants were always too short and my shoes too big in order to keep myself from growing out of them too quick. At age 12 I got glasses and I don't think we could have found a bigger pair. But, I could change their color to coordinate with any hideous outfit I was wearing that week!

Anyway, that awkward kid hasn't been seen at our great Seelos Family Reunion since... well, since she was still an awkward pre-teen. Not many recognized the hot mama I've become!!! :) Really, though, I was having conversations with people that I grew up with or spent my summer's with and they wouldn't even realize who they were talking to until good ol' mom walked up and put her arm around me. That's funny shit!

It's funny how events and traditions like this never seem to mean much until you have a family of your own. I loved the reunions as a kid, but as a teenager I was so uncomfortable with myself and where I fit in that going to a family reunion was a kind of salt in the wound when even your own blood-relatives seemingly shunned you as well. Me no likey the snobby! I have come to realize, though, that I may have been just as big a snob as I accused everyone else of being. Hmmmmm...... Nope, it was them! Anyway, now I am taking my own sweet girls to the reunions and I find it incredible that we've come full circle. My grandma took my mom, my mom took me, and now I take Phoenix and Gracie.

This year was an especially important year to be there for my family. My grandma, Edna, the witty and loveable triplet that she is, was the only remaining child living and present at this year's festivities. We honored her and laughed with her and in a way said our goodbyes, for we know that this year is likely to be her last. Thanks to her sister's family, who was in charge of this year's reunion, she can now leave this world and go knocking on heaven's doors crying, "What's the big idea watching your kids humiliate me this year with a clown turned ventriliquist?!? Damn, you Elsie! Why I oughta..."

What-A-Day at the KOA!

The sign says, "Welcome Home", but what do you get when you mix a cat running around on a leash, a golf cart selling salads and advertising men in kilts, and a fat guy wearing choners with loafers in public (as if lightening has struck and ALL women think he's God's gift)? No, not my family reunion, although I wouldn't be surprised if Jen would have Fat Eddy on that leash... On second thought, that may have actually happened at one of my family reunions... But, this time the crazy riddle above has nothing to do with the Ruchtis and everything to do with the KOA!

That's right! Dave and I have had our very first, and quite inevitably our very last KOA experience. Growing up, Dave did all of his camping in tents and as far away from other campers as the land would permit. Me, on the other hand--- camping to me was staying at the family cabin in Island Park during the summers. Running water, a toilet, a shower, a bed... all readily available at my every whim. Before I met and fell in love with my man, the only tent camping I had done was at church girls camp... and at the time I DESPISED the arts and craps, I mean crafts that they used to make us do. The sleeping in tents part was bearable, the singing camp songs and making dream-catchers was NOT. Needless to say, I didn't finish my camping career with the young women of the Alameda Stake.

Now on to today! Dave and I have a great system. He does all of the dirty work, I make the s'mores! 'Nuf said! Since I am pretty much willing to go anywhere as long as he is in charge of set-up and clean-up, these two camping lovebirds find camping to be magical! We love to be on our own, away from the world, yet with those we want to be with.
I don't enjoy seeing John Doe's butt-crack from one campsite over, and unintentionally making eye-contact with a crazy woman in the bathroom from Oregon who thinks the bunion on her foot might need some medical attention. Apparently, I look like a nurse, cuz her foot was all up in my business. Oh yes she did!

We did have a great time hanging out with our pals, Gavin and Jessica, and their adorable little tyke, Kendall. Phoenix had fun, too, digging in the dirt and getting dirty. She had even more fun on all of the playgrounds we ended up taking her to. The Flagstaff-KOA is right across the street from the mall and Del Taco, which incidentally both have toys that Phoenix loves to play at. Even the KOA had an old-school playground for kids to play on. Urban camping at it's finest, am I right?

In just a couple of more weeks we'll be taking Phoenix and Gracie on a real camping adventure in Idaho. We'll see if she instantly looks for the toys. Boy, does she have another thing coming. Now that's a tantrum in the making!


Here's Dave and Gracie just before our "nature" walk. It ended up being a circle in a field about a few hundred feet around. But I did learn the name of the type of cypress in my front yard!

What you can't see is the incredible filth caked all over her shoes, hair, and pants because daddy said it's okay to get dirty when we're camping. I don't think he expected for her to start making sandcastles all over herself. She took an inch and ran a mile with it!

Phoenix Rose Turns 3!!!

We had a great day today. It started at the butt-crack of dawn because that's what time you have to get up to enjoy the outdoors in this godforsaken place. After a birthday doughnut and mommy's coffee, it was off to the park for an hour of TOYS! For lunch "we" enjoyed Peter Piper Pizza (and by we I mean Phoenix enjoyed)with Ryan and Kyle and Auntie B. We ended the day with yet another round of... what's that? You guessed it, PIZZA!... AND cake, of course! Phoenix got a broomset (my kids gotta carry their own weight early on this family), a laptop (like mommy's), and some bathtub drums! Oh, and I forgot the BEST one! Her very first pair of PUMAs!!! We promised her if she got potty trained then we would sign her up for a new soccer team in August. And guess what... oooooh yeah! I made it... or I mean SHE made it! (but really, I made it).


<== What a couple of CHEESEBALLS!!!


I really did mean to make a super special cake, but in the end... this! Maybe next year, girlfriend!

I swear that Phoenix's eyes get more and more piercing each and everyday!

I glance at these pictures I took of the girls today and I am amazed that I wasn't able to see how identical they look until now!!! Everyone said it, but I just couldn't really SEE it until I put their photos next to each other on this blog! Wow!

And here is Phoenix's "Mini-Me"

Man, I could use a haircut... and a less cheesy smile. I look like I belong in Austin Powers. But this is the only pic we got of me, so let me just say I think you're shagadelic, baby!

Casper May Be Living In My House

So, I'm not sure what any of you think about spirits or ghosts, but I have unfortunately been forced to answer that question as of late. You see, when you have a crazy, voo-doo sister-in-law (and I mean that in the kindest, most loving context) living next door (actually on the other side of the wall -- it's a duplex), you can't help but worry about what effect that may have on you. She reads Tarot cards, which isn't a huge deal, except that every time I go to her house she has a new book on astrology, tarot, and as of late WITCHCRAFT. She makes medicine bags full of different herbs that supposedly help with different problems. She burns her candles to channel energy and inscents to... I don't know... whatever inscents are meant to do. She asks her magic eight ball about important life decisions and has 3 different sets of Tarot. When she moved into the house she had a sayonce...... okay, okay, there was no sayonce, but the rest is true. She moved into the other side of our duplex about a year ago and when she did she said that she believed there was a spirit living in her house. Later, she found Tarot, astrology, and all the other wack-o, shmack-o stuff aforementioned.

So, onto me. My daughter is paranoid about this "bad guy" that lives in her room. At first we thought it was her imagination. Now, I'm starting to wonder if it may be more. Recently, she has been getting more and more scared of being alone in her room, especially if it is too dark. She no longer plays under her bed (where the bad guy supposedly is). The other day she said to me that she was ready to take her nap, but a few seconds later she came out and slammed the door behind her stating that she no longer wanted the nap. When I made her lay down in her bed with the door wide open, she screamed for 20 minutes until I thought she was having a panic attack. I thought she was possibly just trying to get out of the nap, so I thought I'd test her to see, just in case. I told her she could sleep on my bed, but if she started messing around then it was straight to her room. She layed in my room and was out within a couple of minutes. I was sick to my stomach. What if there is more to this bad guy thing than we'd like to believe? I have to say, I'm a little unnerved.

Survivor Theme Birthday Party!!!

I've decided to go all out this year for Dave's 30th birthday. Technically, his birthday has come and pass without much of a bang (actually, not even a crackle), so I've decided to make it up to him in a big way. I'm going to throw him a belated birthday party while we are in Idaho this August. It's going to be a Survivor theme party where we split the guests up into tribes and challenge each other to outplay, outsmart, and outlast the other team... or however that saying goes. I've come up with some pretty rad games, but could use a few more ideas if anyone has any to give.

Some ideas:
1. Fire Challenge -- make a fire with flint/steel and build it up enough to burn through the rope strung about 2 or so feet off the ground.
2. Spear Throwing Contest -- every person on the teams get 3 throws. Throws are worth points based on where the spear lands. The team with the most points wins the challenge.
3. Scavenger Hunt -- players search for puzzle pieces through clues/riddles. Once all of the puzzle pieces have been retrieved, the team goes to their assigned table and begins assembling. The completed puzzle will give the team the last clue needed to find the challenge prize... or some sort of version played off of that.
4. Worm Eating Challenge -- teams compete to see who can chew and swallow their gummy worms the quickest. I thought about making it some gross food like rice with some outrageously hot, hot sauce, but decided that I don't want to be responsible for any myocardial infarctions. Old people and hot stuff... they no likey!!!

We'll have a giant slip n' slide at the party, too, so I would like to come up with a fun challenge to use that one in. I'm thinking 5 or so games should be plenty and it needs to be geared more toward adults, although there will be some teenagers participating as well. I'm going to have easy, fun games for the little kids so that they can keep themselves entertained while the big kids have their fun in the sun.

Man, if I can pull this off then I should be considered wife of the century... year?...month?... okay, day!!! So, suggestions? Anyone? Anyone? Buehler? Buehler?

Throw Mama From the Train, Dammit!

SIX!!! That's the number of times I had to change my daughter's big girl panties yesterday. Six times she peed in her pants. I mean, WHO pees that much? The thing is, she went in the potty, too! So, if you add up the times she went in the potty and the times she went in her pants it's like... I don't know, I'm not a mathmetician, but a LOT of times! I can't do this! I wasn't cut out for this gig! I was determined to be calm and gentle and patient about this whole nightmare of a process, but that there ship has sailed. I think I may have to up my meds this week (you think I'm kidding, but I'm not)!

I honestly find myself contemplating the most inane solutions to this WEE (wink, wink) dilemma. I picture placing my daughter in a small, hollow room with tile and a potty chair (I picture a raquetball court)... nothing else. Naked, maybe. No, not naked. I want her to figure out how to pull those pants up and down over that tush, for pete's sake! But no toys, no TV, no distractions... just her and her potty chair and a whole lot of BORING! Then I start to think to myself, 'you know, self, you'd probably be sitting on Dr Phil in 18 years if you did something like that', and I DEFINITELY don't want to do that cuz we all know what type of CAN I might open up on that there Quack job. And as if the whole hardcore "time in the hole" scenario weren't bad enough, I find my over-the-top mind thinking about whether or not they've invented shockable panties... yeah, I know. Confessions of a desperate houswife!!! Shockable panties! I might as well put a collar on her and take her for a walk around the block to have her pee in some other guys yard! Oh, where the mind goes when you've been BEATEN by the potty train.

In other news,... wait... there is no other news. This is MY LIFE as I know it (sigh)...

For Real, though, Totems

My grandma always had a totem pole in her front yard. Yeah, she just wacked off the top part of the tree and refused to take down the rest. We think it may have been one of those "in-mourning" life crisis' widows go through, but we just didn't expect her to get so attached to the sucker. I mean, it was growing moss and vines and who knows what else all over that big... hell, lets just call it what it was... it was a tree trunk. So my idea of a totem has been very enormously skewed by my grandma's front yard totem pole in Idaho.

But NOW.... NOW I find out that there are real animal totems out there that are supposed to guide us throughout life. I am told that it's predominantly Native American tradition, but with what I-za been a-seezen here, I am enlightened and in need myself of a little animal guidance just as much as the next Joe Shmoe...or..... Little Foot.

So, I don't know where to begin to find my totem. I like a lot of animals, but no cats following me or birds attacking me. I'm pretty easy like that. Now, Heather, I believe one of her totems may be a grasshopper for whatever reason those things seem to attack her everywhere we go. Maybe it's the inscents they smell from her Black Magic drawer. Dave, he's been marked by a dog... on the butt... That's right, he was bit on the butt by the loveliest Austrialian Shepard dog I ever did see. He wasn't a fan. Scared of that dog for life. I wanted to adopt her! She be my girl!

So where does one get in touch with this spirit guide of a totem... and does it actually look like my grandma's totem pole or are totems and totem poles completely different things? Man, I guess I'm still trying to figure out the reason why we kept that gawdy old thing in the first place. I'm pretty sure, though, that the eyesore on that lawn had nothing to do with animal totems, or spirit guides.

Hey, can I be assigned the totem that kicks ass, gets rich, and reads everybody else's minds before they get a chance to hurt me? We need to get us some of them totem.

You all know I'm full of k-shiz, right?

On the Potty Train... Again... Woot! Woot!

That's right. I always heard the horror stories about getting your little sugar boogers to use the throne, but I NEVER thought I'd be the one experiencing them. My offspring would be champs at bodily discharge, I thought. WOW! I mean... WOW! I have never been tried so hard as a mother than at this junction in my parenting career. Seriously, how do people go through this 5 and 6 times in their life? Hats off to you, Mom! I think that potty training should be considered the newest and truest form of birth control. I already had Gracie by the time I started having potty regression issues with Phoenix. Then I thought, DAMN! I'm gonna have to go through this all over again! Will I make it? Better yet, will my potty challenged offspring make it? I mean, at times I feel like the Potty Train Express I hopped on is about to blow it's top! Potty Train Express, ha! There's nothing Express about the training of the potty in my house!

I've tried the sticker chart (yawn), the Skittle Jar (over it!), and now have resorted to buying the nasty potty chair that MOMMY gets to clean out every time. You know, it wouldn't be so frustrating had she not already BEEN trained once. Yeah... that train's been broke! Enter baby Grace, Exit big girl Phoenix. Seriously... shoot me now... better yet, throw me off this crazy PeePee train.

"Arghhhh, Matey!"

Funny story. Phoenix wanted to go to the aquarium with her cousins, but I was exhausted from nursing round the clock with Gracie and Dave wanted some beach time, so we sent her off with her Aunts. She was so excited to see the sharks and turtles and fish that she couldn't stop talking about it to her Auntie Heidi all the way to the aquarium. She was singing and squealing the whole way there. The first room they walk into is the "Pirate Room". That was it! Phoenix FLIPS out, starts crying, and refuses to go any further. "There's bad guys! There's bad guys in there! I want my mommy and daddy!" Auntie Millie had to carry her the remainder of the day. Awwww! Uncle Ross and Auntie Millie saved the day by taking her to the kiddie ride amusement park so the trip wasn't a total wash. It's not easy being a kid!

This is my beautfiul family. Dave is so gorgeous with our two girls and I cannot get over how great this picture captures his excellence as a daddy and family man. Maybe you just had to be there, but this was a picture that I felt captured the moment and I will never forget.

This is my sweet, precious little miss Evey (my pet name for Grace Evelyn)

First Ruchti Family Reunion

We just spent an incredible week on the East coast at North Myrtle Beach, SC. The ocean and beach were absolutely beautiful and watching Dave play in the waves was heartwarming. It brought back memories of our time living in Rio. He LOVED the water and spent practically everyday body surfing at Copacabana. I felt a little sad for him that he doesn't get to do that anymore.

The beach house we stayed in was ridiculously huge. There were over 20 of us there, though, so it was just big enough. I cannot tell you how awesome it was to see all of the kiddos running around together giggling and having such a great time. I was amazed at how well they are beginning to talk to each other. The conversations we saw them having were precious. Phoenix was in heaven being able to wake up every morning to "friends". She walked around the house searching and calling out, "Friend? Friend?" It was so cute!

This was the first time I've seen all of my brothers and sisters together in a lot of years. Ross has 4 kids, Heidi has 1, James 2, Mike 1, Liz preggo with 1, and now I have 2. I don't think we've all been together since just after the first 2 grandkids were born. It's been awhile. It's been hard for me to find my place in the family as anything but just the kid sister. I don't know that anyone else actually puts me in that position. I think it may be more of my own personal insecurity. I think since having the girls I have been able to see myself on a more even playing field, but I am still extremely aware of my being the "baby" of the family and am finding it difficult to break out of that role. It's weird, but I don't even know that little girl anymore because I've changed so much, yet the instant I am surrounded by my brothers and sisters I feel myself revert back to that insecure little girl again. This time wasn't as bad as times past, but I definitely still felt closed and inhibited. I hope that someday I will be able to find my place among the 6 of us as an adult and a sister and especially as ME.

My First Ever Blog

Ready or not, here we come -- to the blogging world. I have always loved the concept of these things, but until now I haven't taken the time to see what it's all about. Honestly, I'm not exactly sure how this is going to work out seeing as it took me almost 3 weeks to make a layout for my blog and then another week after that to actually publish something. Myspace just seems so much simpler than this, but I'm willing to give it a whirl.

Dave and I are living in Arizona still. It'll be 5 years in September. We live in Central Phoenix, or what my friends lovingly refer to as "the ghetto". We've got crack-dealers living next door to us and we produce "serial" killers like no other place on earth, but we love downtown anyway. It's fun to be just a couple minutes from all the action of pro sports and art museums. I wish we could afford to live in a bigger place, but at least we've got each other, right?

Dave just completed his NEPA Master's Certificate program at Duke and is in his final year of his Master's Degree in Historic Preservation through University of Leicester in the UK. We are hoping that these two degrees will make him more marketable and give us that chance at buying a house we so desire. We have no idea where we'll end up, although we'd like to get back to family in Idaho. Only time will tell.

Phoenix is turning 3 in July and Grace just surpassed 3 months. They look just like their daddy and I'm not bitter at all (maybe just a little bit). Phoenix is a spitfire, but only when she feels comfortable in her surroundings. Otherwise, she will remain still and quiet, studying her environment and sticking close to what or who she is comfortable with. Lately I have noticed that as much as she looks like her daddy, she sounds just like me! She picks up on my influction and uses my same vocabulary. She is sassy as hell! I hear her say things like, "let's put it right here so it's nice and safe, OK?" (it's always OK???) or "put your seatbelt on, mommy! Don't wanna call the cops on you!" (thank you for that one Grandpa Ruchti). She says "that's so cool" and "oh, awesome" and "nice" or "sweet" and my new favorite "no worries"! It's so funny!

Gracie is still just starting to show her personality. So far I've notice she is a sensitive little soul, even more than her big sister. She jumps at loud sounds and cries if you pick her up even the slightest bit too abrasive. But, she LOVES to smile. As long as she is aware that you are near her and giving you her undivided attention then she is perfectly content and sociable. The moment she feels like you've turned your interest away, she sticks out the bottom lip and the waterworks begin! I kid around at times and refer to her as high maintenance, but that is probably a bit of an exaggeration. As long as I don't get lazy and am sure to give her the one-on-one time she craves, then she gets drunk from her happiness and falls fast asleep for a couple of hours, giving me what I crave so much lately -- a break!