We just spent an incredible week on the East coast at North Myrtle Beach, SC. The ocean and beach were absolutely beautiful and watching Dave play in the waves was heartwarming. It brought back memories of our time living in Rio. He LOVED the water and spent practically everyday body surfing at Copacabana. I felt a little sad for him that he doesn't get to do that anymore.
The beach house we stayed in was ridiculously huge. There were over 20 of us there, though, so it was just big enough. I cannot tell you how awesome it was to see all of the kiddos running around together giggling and having such a great time. I was amazed at how well they are beginning to talk to each other. The conversations we saw them having were precious. Phoenix was in heaven being able to wake up every morning to "friends". She walked around the house searching and calling out, "Friend? Friend?" It was so cute!
This was the first time I've seen all of my brothers and sisters together in a lot of years. Ross has 4 kids, Heidi has 1, James 2, Mike 1, Liz preggo with 1, and now I have 2. I don't think we've all been together since just after the first 2 grandkids were born. It's been awhile. It's been hard for me to find my place in the family as anything but just the kid sister. I don't know that anyone else actually puts me in that position. I think it may be more of my own personal insecurity. I think since having the girls I have been able to see myself on a more even playing field, but I am still extremely aware of my being the "baby" of the family and am finding it difficult to break out of that role. It's weird, but I don't even know that little girl anymore because I've changed so much, yet the instant I am surrounded by my brothers and sisters I feel myself revert back to that insecure little girl again. This time wasn't as bad as times past, but I definitely still felt closed and inhibited. I hope that someday I will be able to find my place among the 6 of us as an adult and a sister and especially as ME.
