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Sunset in Pocatello, Idaho July 2008


I never thought that a picture like this would bring me so much joy and longing for a life that I've spent a majority of my years despising. I look at this picture and see a haven. I no longer look at it as small town or ignorant or quicksand. I no longer feel that suffocation in the back of my throat and down into my chest. Instead, I feel at peace. I desire that sunset outside my back door. I long for red dusks and family barbeques. I wish for my girls to be able to run through the fields and spend hours in their own make-believe adventures. I'd love to be able to take up horseback riding and to teach my girls how to be resourceful and mindful of our beautiful land and countryside. These are things that I could teach them here in Phoenix, but the quiet life of small town Idaho sounds so much more appealing to me these days. I see beauty there that I once found impossible to find. Perhaps the age-old saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is to credit for this change of heart. Maybe so, but I also like to think that it comes from a few years of working hard on myself and making peace with my past. I want to go home and share all of the good things I've come to appreciate about Home with my new little family and hopeully use what I've learned away from Home to help make this newfound haven one that my own children will love forever.