Message from a SAHM

So, I've decided that I am never going to find the time to post seperate entries on all of the pictures we've taken over the last while, and so instead of some clever, witty diddy, you get these. Mosaics. Collages. Snoring, I know! But what else am I gonna do with them except stash them in a photo album and let them collect dust. Besides, after talking with my awesome friend D. extensively about this blogosphere world we live in, I think that what it all boils down to is that my kids are cuter than yours. That's why we blog... to prove just that... only mine are cute, but kinda rotten, in a cute, sweet, I want to rip my eyeballs out kinda way. Eat that you June Cleavers out there (none of you read this blog so that's why I feel comfortable shouting this my fellow blog readers). This message brought to you by the new, improved, and sometimes too brutally honest SAHM (stay at home mom -- for those of you who are retarded). Check it.

Here's a little taste of what I've been working on for this craft fair coming up in December. I know the pictures are bad, but I've yet to make my photo light box so that I can take stellar pics of my product. Pictured above are the tutus, tiaras, paper-crafted christmas trees and topiaries, and christmas blocks that I make. Someday I'll post other stuff I've been crafting, but I thought I'd narrow it down to Christmas and tutus for this post. I sell my tutus and tiaras and ship them, so if you know of anyone looking for adorable girly gifts then send them my way!

A Midsummer's Night Dream

So... I've got a little confession to make... I like ballets. I never thought I'd be saying those three words, or at least not in the same sentence. I took Phoenix to her first (and mine) ballet last Christmas at Phoenix Symphony Hall for The Nutcracker. I was amazed at the set and the costumes and just about everything you could be impressed about. My only complaint... it was LONG! But, not so long that I wouldn't come back. So, I had my chance to take Phoenix to another ballet this year. A Midsummer's Night Dream. I couldn't resist after seeing the adversing online. This is by far the most amazing performance I have ever seen (not that I've seen a whole lot). The costumes were incredible! The colors and the details were... I don't even think there is a word that describes how beautiful they were. I felt like I was in this magical world, for realsies! AMAZING! And Phoenix was completely enthralled! She knew that there was a story behind the dancing and would ask, "what are they doing?" or "read what is happening, mommy"... obviously I am not a ballet buff because I didn't even know that I could read what is happening. She went to the ballet with her Auntie Heather late last spring, so she obviously must have learned that little tidbit from her. But does that really surprise you? I mean, I just confessed that I have been a closeted ballet lover for over a year. I've got a lot to learn, but it's going to be fun doing so with my little girl.

Having said that, Phoenix has started ballet classes. She made quite the impression for her first day. Silly mommy didn't realize that ballet is such a serious thing at 3 years old and didn't dress her in pink tights and leotard. Nope, I decided it would be a good idea for her to wear black yoga pants and a blue puma tank. Yeah... she stuck out like a sore thumb. 14 other little girls show up and all 14 are wearing... you guessed it, pink tights and leotards with pink ballet slippers and tight, tight hair in buns. And then there was Phoenix. As if that weren't enough to scar a poor girl for life (thank goodness she is only 3 and doesn't understand that "different" blows... *sigh*, GIRLS!!!) she was also the only white girl. I'm talking major ivory and a foot taller than everyone else. She looked like John McCain at a gay marriage ceremony... out of place! But the class was amazing!!! Her teacher is my new hero and mentor as far as teaching is concerned. She had a roomful of 3 and 4 year olds following her every move and there was no screaming, yelling, crying, or straying during the class. I have never seen such control in a situation such as this. We love Ms. CeCe!

This week I've learned...

This week, after a few swears and a whole lot of middle fingers, I have learned...

1. I am not the soccer player I used to be... not even the same one I was last week. I seem to be getting progressively worse and even funnier to watch. I didn't realize that this would be my first shot at improv. "Thanks, guys, I'll be performing every Monday night plus a great matninee on your Sunday mornings! I bet you can't guess what animal I run like!" Now that's funny shizz.

2. Poopy diapers suck the big SUCK-a-DUCKA from DookieVille. I swear that Gracie's stanky-butt drops little nuggets in her diaper like it's a treasure box. No joke, every morning from the time she wakes up until after 4 o'clock, I discover a little gold with every wipe. It's true, folks! No KIDDERS! My behind the back diaper throw into the backyard is getting pretty good these days since those little treasures aren't going anywhere near the inside diaper pail. We just gotta nip that stank in the bud. Can we say dry heave? Honestly, she's been known to make me throw up a little in my mouth.

3. Lastly, I've learned this week that I should never, ever type a blog while under the influence of Ambien. Hopefully no one read the unedited version of this post before I got to it. For realsies, guys, I didn't even realize that I had posted a blog last night until I logged in this evening. It was really bad and mostly incoherent. Can we say embarrassing? At least I wasn't writing about rice bags falling from the sky or faces coming at me from the walls. I've been known to do and say strange things while on Ambien.


That's it for this installment of "What I've learned this week"! (the original post had a few more lessons, but after reviewing I cannot even explain where I was going with it).

...And then she was gone

Neesie and Phoenix (Halloween 2005)

We knew the day was fastly approaching, but Bernice's passing still left us shell-shocked. We have been struggling with making the decision as to whether or not we should put her down for quite some time, but last night she made the decision for us. I found her lying down in the kitchen as if she were peacefully sleeping... only she wasn't. I knew that she was gone. I cannot even begin to explain how much this dog meant to Dave and me. We adopted her at the ripe old age of eight. She was an old lady in bulldog years, but she needed us and we really needed her. She was my baby before I was able to have babies. She filled the void for me until I was able to get healthy again and now I feel like another void is present. I will miss my therapy dog. She had a good day, though, so at least we can rest easy knowing that she wasn't hurting when she went.

Who would have thought that such a grumpy little bully dog could bring so much happiness to our lives. We will miss the happy football feet when we walk in the door, the snotty sneezes in our face, the sweet sounds of our little snore-bert, and yes even the flatulants and skid marks on the wall. Ah, good times. You will be missed my sweet Neesie, Bernie, Bur-meece (as Phoenix calls her), Bern-Dawg, our squishy face! Thank you for the memories and God bless you baby girl!

Today was a historic day for our friend, Gavin, not to mention this little family of ours. Gavin became a naturalized citizen of this great United States and we...... dressed up! That' right, don't be alarmed! Your eyes are not deceiving you and you certainly are not on crack (that we know of). Dave is in a suit... no punch line. He's in a suit. And we are all dressed up at the SAME time!!! I honestly think that I can count the number of times we have gotten dressed up together (sadly, our wedding counts). Dave was probably wearing that exact suit for a majority of 'em! So, you can see how this situation SCREAMED photo-op.


It was a great day and I am extremely humbled by the entire experience. I guess that I am just now realizing how for granted I take my being an American citizen. I am so detached from its implications. After sitting down with our friend, Gavin, while he reflected on his six-year journey to citizenship, I realized that I am the worst kind of American, yet probably the most common... the one who lives "it" without understanding what it means. I believe my eyes were opened by this special day. I don't think I'll be doing any marches on Washington or humiliating my political leaders on international tv, but it's nice to know that I can if I want to... without getting axed! [insert drumroll]

By the way, is it totally inappropriate that we gave him a Jeff Foxworthy calendar? We totally wanted to do something profound and patriotic... a copy of the constitution, a Susan B. Anthony coin, you know, something like that. But, somehow we came out with "You Might Be a Redneck If...". Any opinions on this matter? Please tell me we aren't Ugly Americans for that gift!!!

Home

Sunset in Pocatello, Idaho July 2008


I never thought that a picture like this would bring me so much joy and longing for a life that I've spent a majority of my years despising. I look at this picture and see a haven. I no longer look at it as small town or ignorant or quicksand. I no longer feel that suffocation in the back of my throat and down into my chest. Instead, I feel at peace. I desire that sunset outside my back door. I long for red dusks and family barbeques. I wish for my girls to be able to run through the fields and spend hours in their own make-believe adventures. I'd love to be able to take up horseback riding and to teach my girls how to be resourceful and mindful of our beautiful land and countryside. These are things that I could teach them here in Phoenix, but the quiet life of small town Idaho sounds so much more appealing to me these days. I see beauty there that I once found impossible to find. Perhaps the age-old saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is to credit for this change of heart. Maybe so, but I also like to think that it comes from a few years of working hard on myself and making peace with my past. I want to go home and share all of the good things I've come to appreciate about Home with my new little family and hopeully use what I've learned away from Home to help make this newfound haven one that my own children will love forever.